Warning for ... Heavy themes in general. I am very depressed and will talk about it!! Warning for ... Heavy themes in general. I am very depressed and will talk about it!!
Today is June 4th 2024. I'm in my bed writing this. I went to the doctors today. No problems, other than the fact that I'm a little overweight, and have to exercise more. My doctor told me that I am severely depressed, which shouldn't be much of a surprise, since I've been to the hospital twice because of depression related issues, but I guess hearing it directly made me realize how serious it is. I was pretty much fine until 5th grade. Then in 6th grade I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. In 8th grade, my dad got mad at me for looking up porn on my Kindle Fire, and I tried to off myself in the woods behind my house. I didn't because my mom caught me and took me straight to the hospital. I didn't have to stay overnight, until Freshman year when I told my teacher that I was suicidal, and they sent me to an inpatient program. It was horrible. But what else could they do? If a person, specifically a child, tells someone like a teacher or a therapist that they are suicidal, then they take them away from their families and people who love them, and put them in a strange place where you can't make friends, hug, or exchange phone numbers. I had no friends at school, but I met people in the hospital who LIKED ME, genuinely, which was the first time I'd ever known that.. Someone liked me who wasn't in my family, for the first time. I was part of a group! But then I had to leave the hospital... and I couldn't stay in contact with them, because if you gave out your phone number, the nurses would find out and throw it away and punish you for it. What sense does that make? To punish a lonely, sucidial kid for wanting to connect with people? I will never understand.
People really do not care about people with mental health issues. They pretend to to get people's votes and attention, but in reality, they think we are freaks who shouldn't live in NORMAL society, and they lock us up for struggling. What else can they do? But they'll only lock you up if you aren't rich.. if you're rich and powerful, they'll let you run for president, despite being mentally ill!
The world makes me so sick. You either ignore mentally ill people or you put them in the hospital, where we were woken up to needles in our arms...
There is no good ending for us... We either suffer or suffer worse.
I feel bad for the children being born today. They don't deserve to live in this world. They never asked to be born here.
God will continue to sit by and watch a 5th grader suffer from their own thoughts and feelings. God will sit by while people are murdered and raped for living somewhere. The people in power will rub their full stomachs and live happy, healthy, long lives while the "weak", aka poor or different, live miserably. If they even get the chance to live, that is...
Anyway, I'm getting much better, but Im obviously pissed off at the world...